Sad

I have the sensation that I look just like an injured animal, something a bit pathetic and cute to be around for awhile, until he moves onto something stronger. I deleted his number to force him from my life. Forcing myself to let him force me from his life. Like a false severing of the ties, so I don't make it worse but also so I can wait for him to leave me. I feel so judgmental to those people that I thought were so sad, staying in relationships that were unhappy because they clasped to the comfort, to the person that at least they still loved maybe. They're still sad just more understood. I'm waiting for him to push me over, why? Because there is a chance in hell that he'll hug me instead, and even though I feel shite and my self-respect has been dropped.