Friday

It's Friday. Day of all days. Raining and cold. Waiting for someone to say that it's time to start office drinks so I can glug some beer and play pool.

Wouldn't it be great if pain just magically disappeared? Yes it would. I really really don't want to go to the Dr again, it costs money and I don't like him feeling my back up. Tis the weekend now though, so I'll bed myself and snuggle my pillow..

I've been trying to become addicted to 'you tube' but it's not going so well. I may have to go back to CIV 4.. or perhaps get a life outside of my computer. I vlogged a few times, and yea it's fun to do but I think I enjoy typing more. In a weird way it feels more personal than taping myself. More comfortable anyways.

I'm trying to get my business advertised at little cost. Actually no cost since I'm quite incredibly poor at the moment. So my site will be up on the 'Yellow Pages' in a few days (the site) and will be listed in the next book. Hopefully this will get me out of my rut. I think I may need something more like a giant, super duper forklift to wrench me out of my terrible money woes actually. At least it's not credit card related. W00t.

Ok, be good. x

So cold I'm warm.

Outstanding.

I heart sleep.

I have had the BEST weekend. Drank a few beers at office drinks on Friday and they hit me big time, (I only realised afterwards that that's probably why they tell you not to drink on anti biotics, anit d's and heavy pain meds, and yet I think that's also why you should!) and so I played the pool, said some silly things, even had Daniel worried about me which is pretty crazy since he's a major party boy. Ended up being shouted dinner again by a workmate who earns a little over double what I make which makes it very easy to accept free food and drink. Went home and slept.

Woke up and slept.

Then Joe asked me out to go to some gig at Southern Cross so I agreed, got there and it didn't start till later so he took me to this cafe where they had about five gigs, one after the other and then played some 'Flight of The Concords'. It was an incredible line-up actually, a jazz band, then some incredible acoustic guitar acts. I was swooning. Well not towards Joe but anyone who looks that passionate about something, that intense, becomes incredibly attractive in my books. So ended up chatting with a few of the musicians, then moved on to Daniel's party while they all buggered off to go busk in CP.

Got to the party and fuck it was cool. I've never been to such a good party, there were so many interesting people to talk to, then a band went up and played for a bit, then someone DJ'd for a bit. Twas very very nice. Had a few beers, ended up talking to this group of guys, one in particular then Sam came so I got up to say hello cause I'm a big loser (Sam's the one I've got a crush on), went to go sit back down and "Hello skanky" some girl had taken my place and was attempting to feel up the guy I was talking to before. He did however back away from her. Talked to quite a few more people, a Norwegian guy who I swear sounded freakin Irish, another guy who harassed me, followed me around and didn't leave me alone until he got into a fight with some other guy. He was gross. Then I ended up chatting to a British guy who was very cute and no-bullshit. Ended up leaving to go meet Sam and his friend at the Bristol after they'd been losers watching the Rugby and so left without taking it any further with the Brit.

Was kinda nice to just have all these great conversations with people and not just hop into bed with them. Although, if I meet the Brit again, I think there might be some extensive kissing time to be had.

And been sleepin most of today. :)

Was probably borin to listen to but was one of my best weekends ever.

Messing things up is my new special power.

Ever just been so ashamed of how you've been acting? I have a crush on my friend, I know he is attracted to me too but he wont be with me because cares too much about our friendship basically. Which I find pretty admirable, that someone would care enough about me to not want to screw it all up. But that's the thing, I don't see it as screwing everything up. I see it as getting closer to him and just adding to our friendship a whole new great thing. I know it could end badly, it could also be really amazing...I just wish he wanted to take that risk with me.

So here I am, been acting in true me fashion, as a total spaz to him over the last few days. Over-thinking, complete mood swings..all round crazy bitch behaviour. Not exactly going to make him decide to change his mind and choose me. Oh yea, cause now it is a choose situation as he's got a date right now, a date with someone who when he met her, he grinned like a crazy on the way home. If I was a good person, if I truly cared about him then I would want him to be happy, suck it up and just be his friend again. I'm not a good person. I want him, I'm jealous of this girl I've never met that makes him happy and I just want to be the girl who does that.

I want to end up with the great guy for once. And he is. He's great.

What The Fuck?!

I might have to get surgery on my back.

One of my friends has basically just called me a whore via text because I like him, he likes me and he is a big coward.

I broke my beautiful manbargo by sleeping with a guy who yelled at me a few weeks ago.

I am paying $25 to get my eyebrows looking normal again.

My rockin, 'Glow Worm, Tequila Palooza' is now ruined because of above cowardly friend who is afraid of me trying to seduce him.

The Cary Brothers CD I bought online freezes my computer when inserted.

My back is killing me.

The Jelly Tip ice cream upstairs is calling to me..

Manbargos freakin pull.

I'm waiting on the server at work to get fixed so I might as well waste some time on here.

Exciting day really, went to the Dr, got many many heavy pain-killer drugs, been referred to the hospital to see if I need surgery on my back, was told I could smoke pot by my Dr, love my new Dr, he is cool. My desk now looks like a pharmacy.

Only a few of our heaters are working in our office so everyone is wearing hobo gloves because trying to type with real gloves is fruitless. Amusing to watch though.

I shall go home and sleep a lovely doped up sleep of someone who can't feel any pain.

My beat is incorrect.

I'm bed ridden and pissy. My piece of arse back has crapped out on me again and I have no pain-killers to dull everything. I thought about taking my anti-d's in double dossage and just seein what would happen, but thought better of playin round with my mental health as well. Bah. Sensible people don't get laid.

Am well into my manbargo, no more casual foolin round or dates with guys I keep comparing to my ex, and great friends who I've known for years and have suddenly decided to have a major jones for. A sailors life for me. Although, apparently that doesn't stop me from getting unwanted advances from lady friends.. I want a t-shirt: If I wanted you I would've jumped you already so leave me alone.

I've missed writing on here. I guess I stopped because I wanted change, but I've gotten that and I think it's possible to be a geeky blogger AND live a new improved life. I'm probably wrong.