Drugged up and surviving.

Felt like I needed to publish another post so I don't worry people. I'm okay, I'm not that okay but I will be. You know the feeling where you know it's not bottomless, that it'll fade. And I've definitely got the experience in that area.

I think I need to stop listening to myself, I don't make good decisions.

Going to attempt to get a crappy cafe job and just be busy with that for a bit.

Happiness lived in cheesecake.

I'm an idiot. Once an idiot, always an idiot.

I don't seem to learn my lesson.

And here I am, heartbroken again. Spare me the "I told you so's", I'm beating myself up enough for all of you and I'm not asking for any pity. Maybe a little. A sprinkle.

Happiness lives in cheesecake.

So I met someone; Jordan, this incredibly funny, sweet, sexy, wonderful person. I could list so many more mushy adjectives but you might vomit on your computer. I feel so goofy happy all the time, I miss him when I'm not talking to him, I seriously can not get enough of this boy. :) He's even better than cheesecake.

I'll stop all that nonsense now, no one wants to hear about happy people, happy people are boring sods with lack of character. Character being carted round by those of us who live in the real world of debt, unemployment, loneliness and one of those sad McDonald drive-through stickers that clearly indicates our capitalist whorish nature and explains that extra roll of fat around our tummy. Happiness happens in short bursts, with good trips, good sex, good food, good drink and laughs. I used to have that, I used to believe that when I was happy, that it would go away within a few minutes... it had to, but this time I'm basking in it. Marinate even, like those yummy mushrooms my Mum makes.

Truckin down to Chch again tonight because my course was "over-booked" apparently so I might as well work down there and then come back up next year since I needed to come down for Xmas anyways.

So there's the news, all very rose coloured but meh, it's a one in a million positive blog in my arena so you can all suck on it. :P

Sniff, hack, cough.

Yes I'm sick, on my death bed. My last meal being a sugary mini donut. It was worth it.

I'm still trying to decide between living in Christchurch and doing Fine Arts or living in Welly and doing a Bachelor of Design. I've been trying to make that choice for like two years now. A bit pathetic really.

Maybe I should just go and travel again, rack up a student loan when I get back...

I have no idea how people make these decisions, they don't seem to have right or wrong answers.

Bitches.