Ever just been so ashamed of how you've been acting? I have a crush on my friend, I know he is attracted to me too but he wont be with me because cares too much about our friendship basically. Which I find pretty admirable, that someone would care enough about me to not want to screw it all up. But that's the thing, I don't see it as screwing everything up. I see it as getting closer to him and just adding to our friendship a whole new great thing. I know it could end badly, it could also be really amazing...I just wish he wanted to take that risk with me.
So here I am, been acting in true me fashion, as a total spaz to him over the last few days. Over-thinking, complete mood swings..all round crazy bitch behaviour. Not exactly going to make him decide to change his mind and choose me. Oh yea, cause now it is a choose situation as he's got a date right now, a date with someone who when he met her, he grinned like a crazy on the way home. If I was a good person, if I truly cared about him then I would want him to be happy, suck it up and just be his friend again. I'm not a good person. I want him, I'm jealous of this girl I've never met that makes him happy and I just want to be the girl who does that.
I want to end up with the great guy for once. And he is. He's great.
2 comments:
OK, so much has happen, I want answers! Who are the girls hitting on you?
Who is the guy you broke your manbargo with?
Who is the coward?
xoxo
From Holland with Love
Heh, I kinda left no names for a reason. :) Girl is a workmate, manbargo breaker is a guy I knew from Massey who had a crush on me and the coward would be my close friend and workmate.
That enough info you Dutch hussey?
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